Performance

For the past couple of days my Morning Pages™️ have been about “performance” in one way or another.

On Sunday I wrote about how I got so ingraned in the daily performance of “professional marketing person” that I’ve kinda forgotten what it’s like to be myself — a regular human being.

On Monday I ended up writing about how much I enjoyed performing in plays at school, on stage with my band, and just generally being someone who enjoys attention when hanging out with a group of people.

Today I ended up writing my last, third, page about how I generally feel most “myself” when I’m in front of other people. My mind is racing 24/7 and if there isn’t an outlet for the thoughts they end up building an internal pressure that leads to depression/anxiety/bad things.

So, now I’m thinking (again) about starting a YouTube channel and maybe doing co-working streams on Twitch every once in a while. Even if it’s to an audience of “nobody”, it’ll still be a way for me to let the thoughts out and depresurize the inside of my skull.

Let’s see if I actually do it or if this is going to be another one of those things I say “remember when I said I’d do things?! that was crazy!” about.

Cheers,

Toni.